Copyright 2008 by William A. Mays, Proprietor
|The New York Giants'
Historic Upset Victory
|Underdogs to Beat New England
By Score of 25-24
The Police Gazette sporting editors have been working overtime—in between runs to various emporia to procure more Christian Brothers V.S.O.P. and Dutch Masters Perfectos—and the verdict is finally in. Their calculations complete, their pencils down, the congratulatory clinking of their brandy snifters savored to the last echo, the Gazette sporting editors, in congress, announced their decision, a decision that may shock even the most jaded of pigskin aficionados. For days, the sporting editors strained the muscles of their brains to near exhaustive collapse in the face of a Super Bowl match-up that pits a Goliath against a(n alleged) David. But it was the editors' system of foolproof prediction—proven more effective even than the Dot System—that allowed them to detect the New England Achilles heel that Giant coaches are even now dissecting with scientific aplomb. And so we can now present, with 95% confidence, the newest entry in The Police Gazette Line as the Giants are favored to win by a final score of 25 to 24.
January 24, 2008
Editor's Note: The following article was first published 10 days before the Super Bowl. Our sporting editors are ecstatic over the correct prediction of a victory by such an overwhelming underdog. But the score they predicted for that victory caused them to go back and review their notes to determine what could have gone wrong and, sure enough, a smudge of shrimp cocktail sauce was discovered partially masking a crucial figure in the final calculations. When corrected and followed through, the eventual outcome matches the actual 17-14 score of the game. This Super Bowl was one of the greatest of all time no matter which team you rooted for. But if the game was pornography for Giants fans, then Plaxico Burress' touchdown catch with 35 seconds to go in the 4th quarter was the money shot. This was one to remember!