CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you think no one suspects then think again! A man with a large belt buckle has you in his sights. Hope that you meet him in crowded areas in daylight. 5 will be lucky in the lottery.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Kindness is a virtue best left over the table. Anyone you meet who is wearing a shirt with a cartoon character on it is not to be trusted, so use caution! Beware of dogs and gasoline this month.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Maybe you just THINK you know how to swim. Stay away from large bodies of water and anyone who uses a hair pick. Better associates are entering your life so feel free to break loose from the old gang!
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The more you show your genuine personality the more trouble you get in so keep up a facade and NEVER tell your plans to anyone no matter how charming they seem or what they are armed with.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How many pieces are left to the puzzle? Only you and “56” know for certain. Beware of any sudden noises and NEVER answer someone elses telephone. 4 and 3 are your lucky numbers.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What’s blue and red and hums like a guided missile? If you don’t know now you soon will! Poker is your lucky game this month so spare no expense. Be wary of any new dishes.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The co-worker or cellmate that keeps giving “the eye” in your direction could very well be the source of a windfall that you have been looking for. Be charming yet cool and things will come to light.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dancing the night away is everyone’s dream unless that dance comes at the end of a rope. Keep close to home this month and don’t answer the door unarmed. Blue is your lucky color.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Listen for someone who uses the word “corn” in casual conversation. This person should be followed because they are hiding something valuable from you and from the world. Be discrete but forceful! Steer clear of Mexican food.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): What does Venus in retrograde mean for you? Either unsuspected cash from a distant source or a reason to stay away from high traffic areas. The choice is yours! Keep thinking profit and nevermind the advice of anyone with a crewcut.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Baseball games are NOT a safe place for you, Scorpio. You have many worries this month, and it is best to worry alone. Stay away from “friends” and “doctors” who pretend to be concerned with your troubles, for they mean you only harm.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The stars have aligned, so they will never notice that it’s missing. When the opportunity arises just slip it in your pocket or down your pants. This will be your only chance for quite some time.