CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Boys will be boys, except in mid November. Careful of any strange, shy young ladies who seem overly friendly.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Arnie” and “C” are lookin’ for trouble, and if you aren’t careful they will find it. Stay away from disco bars and fig newtons on the 14th.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Look out for loose change and loose women near the end of the month, and keep a full arm.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Buy three pieces of pie and wait for the other two. Sounds logical, but be warned there are sinister repercussions. “44” and “R” know the score and hopefully you will also.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A real estate sign points the way to a sure “score” if you can find the right shadows. Never forget an old lover’s birthday and you will continue to prosper in all areas of your life.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): More time is what the catbird sings, and the same is true of the jailbird. Open doors at your own peril on the 5th, and beware of loose marbles.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Remedy is the same as cure, or so you have been told. A lost piece of luggage could reward with multiple opportunities if you are fast enough of foot.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Many brave men and women have reached a little too far on All Hallows Day…. Don’t become one of them.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Arrows fly south in winter? Maybe or maybe not! Don’t share the pasta, and beware of a strong-armed woman who calls you “Ray.”
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Beware of a man with a loudly ticking watch the first week of November, and keep your distance from all orange vehicles.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): An old song you remember from your teen years has a hidden message you will only discover when in the company of a naked gypsy. Eat plenty of fiber this month, and bet on evens.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ready for winter? Keep an extra layer of clothing and a few food stamps put away for the lean times that are sure to come quickly in the near future.