CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Where there’s smoke there’s… something you forgot to attend to! Stay sober on the 22nd and answer all unknown callers.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Something your uncle said once is beginning to come true. Stay aware of your surroundings and away from Thai food.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A man in a wheelchair isn’t telling all he knows. Sometimes a shakeup or roll down can loosen lips.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nosy reporters are to be dealt with as harshly as possible mid-month. Tomatoes are full of a strong acid that won’t mix well with your stomach conditions this cycle. 8 and 97 bring good fortune.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Remember a riddle you learned in prison or grammar school when times get tough. Three doors down you will find a person who is most interested in your well being.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Money is still to be found in the place where you last broke bread with an old enemy. Friends get a little too cozy on the 4th and 12th so don’t be afraid to strike when needed.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Three more months and you can finally come out of your shell, but don’t let your guard down just yet. A man in an orange cap is hiding a treasure. Stay close, but silent.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Bicycles are not only a nuisance but a personal attack this month. Stay away from mice and cedar shavings and all will go smoothly.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Foreign languages figure heavily in your near future, so don’t make too many jokes. 5 and 77 still remember you, but do you remember them?
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A rustling sound in the underbrush might just be wildlife, or it could be what you were fearing. Don’t waste time wondering about the future, and cancel any out of town plans on the 13th.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A new friend could be dropping more hints than you realize so be sharp and focused! A yellow piece of plastic is meant to be yours, so don’t let anyone or anything keep you from grabbing it.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Leopard skin patterned clothing will be your key to success if you only knock on the right doors. Bet on even numbers and avoid red colored foods.