Copyright 2009 by William A. Mays, Proprietor
       David Gabriel Watson, aka Gabe Watson, a 32-year-old bubble-wrap salesman from Hoover, Alabama, has graduated from the OJ Simpson School of Wife Murdering. He joins many other graduates, including celebrities such as Robert Blake--student Phil Spector recently failed the final exam and dropped out. The commencement ceremony for Watson took place in Brisbane, Australia, on June 5 when Australian prosecutors retreated from a charge of murder. Watson had planned the murder of his wife in 2003, prior to their departure from Alabama for their honeymoon. The trip included scuba diving at Australia's Great Barrier Reef where Watson intended to suck the life out of his new bride Christina Thomas. An experienced diver with a rescue certification, Gabe Watson took Christina down on a dive, shut off her oxygen, held her in a bear hug until she passed out, restored the oxygen to avoid the appearance of foul play, and then let her sink slowly to the bottom of the sea.
       A cold-blooded killer with a history of abuse toward animals, everything Gabe Watson told investigators following the incident turned out to be a lie. He was described even by friends as the type of person who could have carried out such a lethal plan. They paint a picture of a man who would remain calm and even tempered under even the most stressful situations. "I have never seen him lose his temper or act in a spiteful way," said friend Craig Youngblood, a description that rules out not only a crime of passion, but Watson's claim after the event that the experienced diver panicked in the face of his motionless wife who was floating feather-like to the bottom of the ocean. However, it perfectly describes the state of mind of a malignant miscreant who coolly plans and executes the murder of another human being.
       Gabe Watson's motives for killing his new bride include receiving the proceeds from her small life-insurance policy. Ironically, as vehement as his attempts were to get her to quickly change the policy's beneficiary over to him, she hadn't gotten around to it before their Australian trip. Evidence also shows Watson's manhood failed him when sequestered with the beautiful Tina in her boudoir. The repression of his closeted feelings must have also pushed Watson to want to dispose of the witness who could reveal the truth about him. The marriage of convenience he now enjoys with a different "woman" in his straight-laced Alabama town cannot keep at bay the urges that constantly bubble up at inappropriate moments. Those familiar with the situation expect Gabe Watson to snap within the next two or three years and kill again.
June 6, 2009
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Husband Sends Her to
a Watery Grave
Australia Welcomes Newest Graduate of
OJ Simpson School of Wife Murdering
Young Bride Drowned on Honeymoon