Copyright 2007 by William A. Mays, Proprietor
The Police Gazette Line
Death Pool Tracker
For the Connaisseur of Beer
The Michael Vick Case
Former NFL Quarterback Fails at Business
To Be Jailed and Banned
       Low-class miscreants Michael "Ookie" Vick, Purnell "P-Funk" Peace, Quanis "Q" Phillips, and Tony "T" Taylor have admitted to running an interstate crime organization based at 1915 Moonlight Rd., Smithfield VA, a rural area northwest of Newport News. Vick and the others admitted that for the last six years they managed a dog-fighting operation called Bad Newz Kennels on the property that Vick purchased specifically for the purpose. Vick also provided almost all of the money to fund the operation. Finally, Vick admitted that he and the others killed dogs by hanging them and drowning them when they did not perform well.
       They had decided to start the business around the time Vick was signed by the Atlanta Falcons--and the money started rolling in--and while he was still a student at Virginia Tech University. V-Tech, not having a good year insofar as
violent students are concerned, should perhaps look at doing a better job of screening during the acceptance process. But back to the point, Vick pleaded guilty to the charges in Federal court August 27th, and may as well have also pleaded guilty to being as mediocre an entrepreneur as he is a quarterback. This is no way to run a blood-sport business.
       Our editorial on
Bear Baiting notwithstanding, the Police Gazette does not advocate this particular type of sporting entertainment. The reason is simple. Our position is that a blood sport should either A) leave a participant--in the vast majority of cases--with the chance of physically recovering to the condition they were in before the event, or B) leave the participant dead. Dog fighting, as it's generally carried out, leaves a majority of the dogs alive but in horrendous physical condition--irreparably broken bones and torn muscles, skin torn from faces to such a degree that hair no longer grows, etc. Boxing, championed by the Gazette during a time when it was still illegal, satisfies condition "A" above for its human participants. Bull fighting satisfies "A" for its human participant and "B" for its bovine. Rat baiting, which has the added ethical advantage of placing harmful vermin in the "B" category, reserves an "A" for its canine participants. With so many other endeavors available--and perhaps yet to be invented--that satisfy the requisite "A" and "B" conditions above, the only people who would still choose dog fighting surely must possess particularly deviant criminal minds.
       That this is clearly the case with Michael Vick is illustrated in the fact that once signed by the Falcons he moved straight onto Easy Street; he was set for life and could have pursued any recreational hobby he pleased. Yet he voluntarily chose to remain in the gutter. And it is to the gutter where he shall be returned.
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September 2, 2007